Happy holidays, everybody. In our never-ending quest to better understand the 2000s as a music decade, we have decided to dive deep into the Christmas Music wormhole, possibly never return to this reality.

This would be a shame because Josh Groban exists in this reality, and he’s delightful.

Let’s get this out of the way: the 2000s are unable to compete with the classics, and we are not trying to argue that here. But we have Grobes, and damn it, we owe it to ourselves to try (to put together this playlist).

Years: 2000-2003

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Ah, a new millennium. Chestnuts are roasting on the open fire, and Y2K is scaring the shit out of everyone. Fear not, for the pop bleed over from the 90s is here to comfort us. Our suggestions:

2000- Christina Aguilera, The Christmas Song
2001- Destiny’s Child, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Jimmy Eat World also laid down a forgetting rendition of “Last Christmas” in 2001, but we’d skip this one. Taylor Swift lays down a better version a few years down the road. May we recommend instead a take on “Blue Christmas” from Conor Oberst and his merry band of Omahanian pranksters, released in 2002 and featured on an episode of “The OC” (which is a fucking really great 2000s sentence. If I’m being honest it felt almost therapeutic to type it).

Year: 2004

A great year for YouTube, I’m sure. Here’s how it went down — the Trans-Siberian Orchestra released “The Lost Christmas Eve” and “Wizards in Winter” became the musical backdrop to every blinking, coordinated home Christmas light display for the next several holiday seasons.

I’m not sure it’s even over, to be completely honest. This is something we may never escape.

This was also a big “American Idol” year, featuring Christmas albums from Clay Aiken and William Hung. Our suggestions:

William Hung, Deck The Halls (off of ‘Hung For The Holidays’)
Clay Aiken, Winter Wonderland

Important note: Aiken’s “Merry Christmas With Love” was certified platinum and was recognized by Billboard as the best-selling Christmas/holiday album of 2004 and the best-selling Christian album of 2005. Take that, Bing Crosby.

Honorable mentions include the Barenaked Ladies’ take on “Auld Lang Syne” (off ‘Barenaked for the Holidays’) and Leann Rimes’ “O Holy Night.”

Editor’s note: We have chosen not to include the Jessica Simpson Christmas album released in 2004 because it is bad and we do not like it.

Years: 2005, 2006

A couple of important things to note here: Nickelodeon released a Christmas record and had Dora perform the “Feliz Navidad” cover, and Smash Mouth released a holiday album titled “The Gift Of Rock.” Our recommendations:

2005- Smash Mouth, Father Christmas (Kinks cover on The Gift Of Rock)
2005- Nick Holiday from Nick Records (Dora’s Feliz Navidad cover)
2006- Sufjan Stevens, O Come, O Come Emmanuel (Songs for Christmas)

Note: If you like Sufjan, you’ll like his take on “Emmanuel.” If you don’t, you will not. This is a simple, but important, distinction.

Year: 2007

This was a big year! Taylor Swift dropped her take on “Last Christmas” and two of the best holiday albums of the decade were released. Our must-haves:

Taylor Swift, Last Christmas
Relient K, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Josh Groban, Silent Night (NOEL)

A few notes about our boy Grobes’ album “NOEL” — according to Billboard, Noël is the second best-selling classical album of the 2000s decade in the US, behind Groban's own Closer. The album has set numerous Billboard 200 records, starting with being the first Christmas album to spend four consecutive weeks at No. 1 in the chart's 51-year history, as well as being only the second Christmas album to ever spend four weeks at No. 1, tying with Elvis Presley's Elvis' Christmas Album.

Protect Josh Groban. This is all that I ask.

Sidenote: Relient K’s “Let it snow baby… let it reindeer” is possibly one of the greats. It’s not just guitar-heavy carols for the sake of guitar-heavy carols (i.e. Weezer holiday efforts, more on that later). It’s beautiful and important. Their take on “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is almost unsettlingly sweet.

Years: 2008, 2009

Do you like “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer? Great. They released a holiday album in 2008 and their rendition of “Silent Night” is about as close as we’re going to get to a Christmas song sounding like “Kiss Me.” Our recommendations:

Sixpence None The Richer, Silent Night
Sheryl Crow, Merry Christmas, Baby
Faith Hill, Joy To The World

Avoid the following: Weezer’s “O Come All Ye Faithful” and The Fray’s “Away In A Manger.” The Fray challenging Jessica Simpson here for worst of the decade.

BONUS

If you’ve never heard Michael McDonald’s “Christmas On The Bayou” then you go listen to that shit right now. It’s important, damn it.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

-stream or download our Christmas Mixtape Draft episode below-

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Constructing the Perfect 2000s Christmas Playlist