This week on the show, we attempt to conquer “The Curse of Curves” by Cute is What We Aim For.
Great song, weird video. Let’s get into it.
LOSER: Sleeping with more than several of your friends’ significant others
In the video, our heroes (?) are sitting at a large table in what seems to be an empty mansion. The lead singer is at the head of the table, proposing a toast throughout the entirety of the video while singing along to the tune. He is joined by the rest of the band and their female significant others.
As the video progresses, it becomes clear that he’s had eyes for all the women at the table for quite some time, in line with the theme and tone of the song itself.
If sleeping with one friend’s significant other is bad, then sleeping with several is, you know, worse.
WINNER: Scene kid prom dinners
This video is a scene kid prom dinner. We’ve all been there. Scene hair. White tuxes. Bloomin’ Onions, probably. I guess this is growing up.
WINNER: Scene hair
Man. Weird times, am I right?
LOSER: Also scene hair
Man. Weird times, am I right?
WINNER: Poisoning someone’s drink at a feast
Of all the ways to kill someone, this feels classier than… other ways people do it? I’m out of my element here.
BONUS WINNER: Poison that displaces momentum
When poisoned at the end of the video (presumably by his significant other, presumably for sleeping with so many other women), the lead singer flies backward out of his seat about seven to 10 feet from the table. That must be some wicked poison.
Side note, I would watch the hell out of that Sherlock Holmes movie - “Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Momentum Displacing Poison.”
Thanks for listening, everybody.
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